Depressed Me!

I remembered my password! Well, its definately a good news to me since I'm thinking negatively nowadays. I dont know what is wrong with me. Ever since I finished watching Korea's My Love From The Star, I've been really sad and empty. I love that drama alot especially Jun Ji Hyun's Cheon Song Yi. She is so funny and she's a goddess! But since then, I felt empty.. I want to watch more of her! More of My Love From The Star! She's a big screen actress so its very unlikely she will film another drama and now that she's got more and more famous, my hope for another drama is very unlikely. She films movie once every two year in average. How long more do I have to wait to see her drama or movie? And also, there are news that she's retiring to be a family women. NO!!!!
Anyway, back to my depression. I've been feeling sad all the time. I cant eat as when I think of eating or see food, I felt like vomitting. I dont want to talk to people as I felt like crying. I also dont want people to talk to me, I'll cry also. I just want to be alone and not be around with people I know as I'm afraid I have to talk to them or they will talk to me, I just cant take all that right now. I've been crying alot when I'm in the bathroom as I dont want my mum to know this. I've been trying very hard to be normal at home, mum would think I'm crazy if she sees me crying. I have no problem talking to mum and sister but I'd rather not talk and be alone. I've been skipping alot of my activities such as badminton. I wanted to go play last Friday but just the thought of going out to meet my friend, I almost cried.
What is going on. I dont like this feeling, it sucks! How am I supposed to get over this depression as I think it got worse by day. I've been very quiet at work, trying very hard to avoid colleagues and trying very hard not to cry infront of them. My friends told me that I needed to go out and hang out with friends to get over this but  just cant. I'm in a bad shape and situation now. I've never been like this before as I always wanted to be a happy and carefree person. Guess all the pressure and stress I've collected all these years are taking a toll on my mental state. I've always present myself as a happy person without pressure or stress. Stress were there but I chose to ignore it and put it aside as I dont want to worry about it. Its there. Guess it exploded now.

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